When you get married you’re not only marrying the person you love but also their family as well. The in-laws are an important part of your spouse's life, which automatically makes them an important part of your life. As if marriage alone is not difficult enough outside influences such as in-laws can cause an enormous strain on the marriage. When there are overbearing in-laws, how do you deal with them without causing conflict within your marriage? The material suggests that when dealing with in-laws it is essential to work with your spouse and establish boundaries with the in-laws.
When an issue arises involving in-laws you should always discuss it with your spouse first. Your approach is everything. Be careful not to accuse the in-law when talking with your spouse, but rather address a certain problem or concern. You should never go behind your spouse’s back when dealing with your in-laws. “Discuss the issue together and avoid accusatory statements. Try to focus on the actual problem and develop a solution that you are both comfortable with” (Roman, 2009). Team work will assure one another that each of you is on the same page. One must understand the bond the spouse has with its family and try to support that relationship. “It is important to never put your spouse in a situation where he or she is outwardly forced to choose between you and a relative” (Roman, 2009). It is almost impossible for any good to come of this.
It is critical to establish boundaries with your in-laws. There should be specific guidelines of what you do and don’t expect out of them. It is easy for in-laws to become too involved, to the point that they are no longer helping the marriage but actually hurting it. “That love and concern can go seriously wrong, though, when the respective families become overly involved (a.k.a. intrusive) in the newly established family's life” (Nicole, 2006). It is common for in-laws to want to give advice and show you how you should do things but at the same time you must remember that this is your marriage.
Roman and Nicole suggest the best way to deal with overbearing in-laws is to communicate with one another and to establish boundaries that the in-laws must abide by. Roman’s and Nicole assertion regarding how to deal with in-laws is vital. Conflict with the in-laws usually leads to conflict with your spouse because there is a strong bond between most spouses’ and their family. Roman and Nicole also make note that every situation is different and not all in-laws have a negative impact on a marriage. Therefore, I don’t think that they were bias.
The opinions on the matter were about all the same. I agree with authors, Roman and Nicole, that working together and establishing boundaries are the best way to get along with domineering in-laws. Majority of the articles addressed the fact that a spouse not only marries his/her beloved, but also marries into the beloved’s family. They also state that newlyweds need to establish their own independent married life. Finally, majority of the articles states that communication is within the marriage and also with the in-laws is the key to dealing with domineering in-laws.
Bibliography
Nicole, D. (2006). Establishing Boundaries with Families, In-Laws, Step-Children, and Former Spouses. Lifestyle .
Roman, M. (2009). Dealing With the In-laws. Family Marriage .
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Prenuptial Agreements
Are prenuptial agreements practical solutions to dealing with the problematic topic of finances in a marriage? The legal definition of a prenuptial agreement is a written contract between two people who are about to marry, setting out the terms of possession of assets, treatment of future earnings, control of the property of each, and potential division if the marriage is later dissolved. Although not very romantic, having this honest financial discussion prior to a wedding ceremony can be a very positive experience. The material suggests prenuptial agreements keep finances and debts separate and defines what property is considered martial or community property.
One of the main arguments for obtaining a prenuptial agreement is that a prenup would keep finances and debts separate within a marriage. After a divorce the court has the authority and responsibility of dividing the assets accumulated over the years during and prior to the marriage. “If you want to avoid having some or all of your individual accumulations during marriage divided up by a court, you can do so with a premarital agreement” (Stoner & Irving, 2010). By keeping finances separate it would alleviate the issues of dividing assets and money. Also, creditors can sometimes turn to marital or community property to satisfy the debts of just one spouse. You want to make sure that saying, "I do" does not mean saying "I owe," you can use a prenup to limit your liability for each other's debts” (Stoner & Irving, 2010). It’s not fair one spouse has to suffer financially and deal with creditors because the other spouse is financially irresponsible. That is why a prenup is essential when getting married especially if you don’t know about your spouse’s financial history.
Prenuptial agreements define what property is considered martial or community property. Without a prenup both parties are liable to lose property that they obtained prior to getting married during a divorce. “At all times, the parties shall enjoy the full right and authority with regard to their separate property as each would have had if not married, including but not limited to the right and authority to use, sell, enjoy, manage, gift and convey the separate property” (Larson, 2003). There is no reason a spouse should receive any property that they did not help invest in. Anything that was obtained before the marriage should not be considered as community property during a divorce.
Stoner and Irving suggest that a prenuptial agreement is the best way to secure personal finances and protect one’s self against the debts obtained by their spouse prior to and during marriage. Stoner and Irving assertion regarding how prenuptial agreements keep finances and debts separate is irrefutable. The prenuptial agreement is a legal written contract that is recognized in just about every court which outlines the terms and conditions associated with dividing up financial assets and responsibilities if the marriage dissolves. Stoner and Irving also provide the pros and cons of a prenuptial agreement alleviating the bias in their article..Larson proposes that a prenuptial agreement will allow you to keep all your assets that were obtained prior to marriage. In addition, Larson provides a detailed sample of a standard prenuptial agreement that lays out in details what is to be expected during a divorce settlement
There are a couple of conflicting arguments First, starting a relationship with a contract that sets forth the particulars of what will happen upon divorce can lead to a sense of lack of trust. The last thing couples want discuss before getting married is who gets what in case of divorce. It is not only unromantic but it sends a message to your future spouse that you are not confident this relationship will last. Secondly, if you contribute to the continuing success and growth of your spouse's business or professional practice by entertaining clients and taking care of the home you may not be entitled to claim a share of the increase in value if you agree otherwise in a premarital agreement. Under the laws of many states, this increase in value would be considered divisible marital property. Even though these claims could be true, I am still a supporter of the use of prenuptial agreements before marriage. Just look at the case of Paul McCartney and his ex-wife Heather Mills. Paul McCartney, ex Beatle, had to pay his ex-wife 47 million dollars in their divorce. . She actually asked for more money than that. This happened all because he did not want to sign a prenuptial agreement that she offered to sign. I know this is an extreme case but it supports my claim that it is essential to have a prenup if you’re financial successful. “The prenup seems so utterly unromantic — or just plain wrong — but it's also become so right for so many these days: those keenly aware that a marriage may end up in a legal separation, divorce or death. Most prenups tackle financial issues such as real estate, division of bank accounts and potential spousal support in the case of divorce or separation” (Petrecca, 2010). I firmly agree with this claim. Prenuptial agreements exist to protect couples financially, just in case the marriage doesn’t work out.
Bibliography
Larson, A. (2003, August). Sample Prenuptial Agreement. Retrieved July 18, 2010, from Expert Law: http://www.expertlaw.com/library/family_law/prenuptial_agreement_form.html
Petrecca, L. (2010, March 11). Prenuptial agreements: Unromantic, but important. USA Today , p. 1.
Stoner, K., & Irving, S. J. (2010). Prenuptial Agreements -- What the Law Allows. NOLO: Legal Solutions for You .
One of the main arguments for obtaining a prenuptial agreement is that a prenup would keep finances and debts separate within a marriage. After a divorce the court has the authority and responsibility of dividing the assets accumulated over the years during and prior to the marriage. “If you want to avoid having some or all of your individual accumulations during marriage divided up by a court, you can do so with a premarital agreement” (Stoner & Irving, 2010). By keeping finances separate it would alleviate the issues of dividing assets and money. Also, creditors can sometimes turn to marital or community property to satisfy the debts of just one spouse. You want to make sure that saying, "I do" does not mean saying "I owe," you can use a prenup to limit your liability for each other's debts” (Stoner & Irving, 2010). It’s not fair one spouse has to suffer financially and deal with creditors because the other spouse is financially irresponsible. That is why a prenup is essential when getting married especially if you don’t know about your spouse’s financial history.
Prenuptial agreements define what property is considered martial or community property. Without a prenup both parties are liable to lose property that they obtained prior to getting married during a divorce. “At all times, the parties shall enjoy the full right and authority with regard to their separate property as each would have had if not married, including but not limited to the right and authority to use, sell, enjoy, manage, gift and convey the separate property” (Larson, 2003). There is no reason a spouse should receive any property that they did not help invest in. Anything that was obtained before the marriage should not be considered as community property during a divorce.
Stoner and Irving suggest that a prenuptial agreement is the best way to secure personal finances and protect one’s self against the debts obtained by their spouse prior to and during marriage. Stoner and Irving assertion regarding how prenuptial agreements keep finances and debts separate is irrefutable. The prenuptial agreement is a legal written contract that is recognized in just about every court which outlines the terms and conditions associated with dividing up financial assets and responsibilities if the marriage dissolves. Stoner and Irving also provide the pros and cons of a prenuptial agreement alleviating the bias in their article..Larson proposes that a prenuptial agreement will allow you to keep all your assets that were obtained prior to marriage. In addition, Larson provides a detailed sample of a standard prenuptial agreement that lays out in details what is to be expected during a divorce settlement
There are a couple of conflicting arguments First, starting a relationship with a contract that sets forth the particulars of what will happen upon divorce can lead to a sense of lack of trust. The last thing couples want discuss before getting married is who gets what in case of divorce. It is not only unromantic but it sends a message to your future spouse that you are not confident this relationship will last. Secondly, if you contribute to the continuing success and growth of your spouse's business or professional practice by entertaining clients and taking care of the home you may not be entitled to claim a share of the increase in value if you agree otherwise in a premarital agreement. Under the laws of many states, this increase in value would be considered divisible marital property. Even though these claims could be true, I am still a supporter of the use of prenuptial agreements before marriage. Just look at the case of Paul McCartney and his ex-wife Heather Mills. Paul McCartney, ex Beatle, had to pay his ex-wife 47 million dollars in their divorce. . She actually asked for more money than that. This happened all because he did not want to sign a prenuptial agreement that she offered to sign. I know this is an extreme case but it supports my claim that it is essential to have a prenup if you’re financial successful. “The prenup seems so utterly unromantic — or just plain wrong — but it's also become so right for so many these days: those keenly aware that a marriage may end up in a legal separation, divorce or death. Most prenups tackle financial issues such as real estate, division of bank accounts and potential spousal support in the case of divorce or separation” (Petrecca, 2010). I firmly agree with this claim. Prenuptial agreements exist to protect couples financially, just in case the marriage doesn’t work out.
Bibliography
Larson, A. (2003, August). Sample Prenuptial Agreement. Retrieved July 18, 2010, from Expert Law: http://www.expertlaw.com/library/family_law/prenuptial_agreement_form.html
Petrecca, L. (2010, March 11). Prenuptial agreements: Unromantic, but important. USA Today , p. 1.
Stoner, K., & Irving, S. J. (2010). Prenuptial Agreements -- What the Law Allows. NOLO: Legal Solutions for You .
Monday, July 5, 2010
Same Sex Marriage
"Should we allow gay couples to legally marry?" Same sex marriage has become a national issue, putting religious and social conservatives against gay rights advocates. Marriage is viewed by some as the ultimate expression of love for another person. When person decides to marry someone he/she are saying, “I love you so much that I would like to spend the rest of my life with you and forsake all others”. Heterosexual couples are allowed to express their love for one another in the form of marriage, so why won’t we allow homosexual couples to do the same? The material argues that the right to marriage is a violation of religious freedom and a form of discrimination. It is also important to note that by not allowing people to marry based on their gender we are overlooking the main reason people get married, love.
One of the main arguments for denying homosexuals the right to marriage is that in many religions homosexuality is considered a sin. “However, the First Amendment of the Constitution clearly states that a person's religious views or lack thereof must be protected. Marriage by the state is a secular activity; the government cannot start making laws just because a religion says they should” (Messerli, 2009). The state cannot deny same sex marriages based on religious reasons because the state is suppose to act bias toward religious beliefs, and marriage is an act that is carried out by the state.
Proponents of gay marriage argue that not allowing homosexuals to get married because of their sexual orientation is a form of discrimination. Homosexuals often compare their struggle to the civil rights movement. “History, shows us that marriage is a civil right that has expanded over time to include previously marginalized groups; gays now deserve those rights as well” (Hymowitz, 2004). The civil rights movement was founded on the idea of equality and putting an end to discrimination. Homosexuals are facing a very visible form of discrimination based on their sexual orientation and gender.
Above all, love should be the main reason why people get married. Marriage is considered the ultimate expression of love. “The number one reason that heterosexuals marry is not to establish legal status, allow joint filing of taxes, or protect each other in medical decision-making. They marry because it is the ultimate expression of a person's love for another” (Messerli, 2009). Homosexuals want to be able to express their love in a form that says, “I love you above everything else”, and the way to do that is through marriage.
Messerli and Hymowits state that prohibiting same sex marriage is a violation of the First Amendment, which prohibits the making of any law “respecting an establishment of religion”. Prop 8 is a constitutional amendment in California which provides that "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." Therefore, laws such as Prop 8 are in violation of their constitutional rights. Messerli’s assertion regarding the concept of love and marriage is questionable. Yes, it may hold true that most people marry for love but this may not be the case for all gay couples. Messerli fails to provide evidence that would reinforce his argument on love. In contrast he does provide the pros and cons of same sex marriage, alleviating the bias in his article. Hymowitz argument is based on the concept of the civil rights movement. The movement was intended to bring full civil rights and equality to all Americans under the law, and this is the same equality that homosexual couples are fighting for.
There are many conflicting arguments. Virtually every religion in the world considers homosexuality unacceptable and a sin for the following reasons: first, it would weaken the definition and respect for the institution of marriage, second, it would further weaken the traditional family values essential to our society, finally, homosexual lifestyle is not something to be encouraged. I’m an advocate of same sex marriage. My research indicates that same sex couples should be awarded the rights of marriage just like heterosexuals due to the Bill of Rights. Mefford asserts that “Probably the greatest drawback to same-sex marriages is the blatant and often unconsidered discrimination and denial of human rights to same-sex couples” (Mefford, 2009). Mefford also claims that same sex couples should not have the right to marry. Religion and society should not be able to dictate who you’re allowed to marry. It should be a personal decision. Therefore, I’m not opposed to legalizing same sex marriage.
Bibliography
Holmes, S., & Holmes, R. (2009). Sex Crimes: Patterns and Behaviors. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, Inc.
Hymowitz, K. (2004). Gay Marriage vs American Marriage. City Journal .
Mefford, D. (2009). The Pros and Cons of Same Sex Marriage. Edu Book .
Messerli, J. (2009, 5 24). Should Same Sex Marriages Be Legalized? Retrieved from BalancedPolitics.org: http://www.balancedpolitics.org/same_sex_marriages.htm
One of the main arguments for denying homosexuals the right to marriage is that in many religions homosexuality is considered a sin. “However, the First Amendment of the Constitution clearly states that a person's religious views or lack thereof must be protected. Marriage by the state is a secular activity; the government cannot start making laws just because a religion says they should” (Messerli, 2009). The state cannot deny same sex marriages based on religious reasons because the state is suppose to act bias toward religious beliefs, and marriage is an act that is carried out by the state.
Proponents of gay marriage argue that not allowing homosexuals to get married because of their sexual orientation is a form of discrimination. Homosexuals often compare their struggle to the civil rights movement. “History, shows us that marriage is a civil right that has expanded over time to include previously marginalized groups; gays now deserve those rights as well” (Hymowitz, 2004). The civil rights movement was founded on the idea of equality and putting an end to discrimination. Homosexuals are facing a very visible form of discrimination based on their sexual orientation and gender.
Above all, love should be the main reason why people get married. Marriage is considered the ultimate expression of love. “The number one reason that heterosexuals marry is not to establish legal status, allow joint filing of taxes, or protect each other in medical decision-making. They marry because it is the ultimate expression of a person's love for another” (Messerli, 2009). Homosexuals want to be able to express their love in a form that says, “I love you above everything else”, and the way to do that is through marriage.
Messerli and Hymowits state that prohibiting same sex marriage is a violation of the First Amendment, which prohibits the making of any law “respecting an establishment of religion”. Prop 8 is a constitutional amendment in California which provides that "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." Therefore, laws such as Prop 8 are in violation of their constitutional rights. Messerli’s assertion regarding the concept of love and marriage is questionable. Yes, it may hold true that most people marry for love but this may not be the case for all gay couples. Messerli fails to provide evidence that would reinforce his argument on love. In contrast he does provide the pros and cons of same sex marriage, alleviating the bias in his article. Hymowitz argument is based on the concept of the civil rights movement. The movement was intended to bring full civil rights and equality to all Americans under the law, and this is the same equality that homosexual couples are fighting for.
There are many conflicting arguments. Virtually every religion in the world considers homosexuality unacceptable and a sin for the following reasons: first, it would weaken the definition and respect for the institution of marriage, second, it would further weaken the traditional family values essential to our society, finally, homosexual lifestyle is not something to be encouraged. I’m an advocate of same sex marriage. My research indicates that same sex couples should be awarded the rights of marriage just like heterosexuals due to the Bill of Rights. Mefford asserts that “Probably the greatest drawback to same-sex marriages is the blatant and often unconsidered discrimination and denial of human rights to same-sex couples” (Mefford, 2009). Mefford also claims that same sex couples should not have the right to marry. Religion and society should not be able to dictate who you’re allowed to marry. It should be a personal decision. Therefore, I’m not opposed to legalizing same sex marriage.
Bibliography
Holmes, S., & Holmes, R. (2009). Sex Crimes: Patterns and Behaviors. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, Inc.
Hymowitz, K. (2004). Gay Marriage vs American Marriage. City Journal .
Mefford, D. (2009). The Pros and Cons of Same Sex Marriage. Edu Book .
Messerli, J. (2009, 5 24). Should Same Sex Marriages Be Legalized? Retrieved from BalancedPolitics.org: http://www.balancedpolitics.org/same_sex_marriages.htm
Monday, June 28, 2010
Who Wants to Swing?!!
If marriage is a monogamous bond between two individuals then why are many couples participating in a swinging lifestyle? Has swinging become a viable form of sexual behavior in which respectable people engage in? Swinging is the consensual exchange of marital partners for sexual intercourse. Swingers suggest that boredom with marriage, routine marital sex, and desire for a different form of sexual intimacy all reasons why married couples swing. As couples have been together for an extensive period of time, some feel as if their marriage has become stagnant, and lacks a certain spark that the relationship once had. “Several couples in the sample stated that they had become somewhat routinized in their relationships, and that behaviors became predictable both of a personal and sexual nature. By even deciding to explore the possibility of swinging, this initial decision appeared to be enlivening their relationship and became a focal part of their discussion and planning” (Holmes & Holmes, 2002).
A problem being married for a lengthy time is boredom with sex. When a couple’s sex life becomes predictable or non-existent they often become uninterested in sex with their spouse. Married couples want to relive the days when they were young and sex was spontaneous and passionate not dull and predictable. “As several said, they could not only reliably predict when the partner would be sexually approachable, but also would be the next move in their sexual script with one another” (Holmes & Holmes, 2002). This kind of predictability leads couples to search for different avenues for sexual satisfaction, which could be found in the swinging.
Many couples express that swinging is an outlet for what they consider to be abnormal sexual desires. Sometimes people feel awkward talking to their spouse about sexual fantasies. Individuals fear rejection and being considered anomalous. However, couples would rather be rejected from someone they don’t know rather than their spouse. One swinger said his fantasies were to pretend to have sex with a corpse and to engage in anal sex . . . he would never ask his wife to do that because he believed she would think him to be weird or perverted. His wife totally opposed anal sex, whereas he found some of his partners to be very willing and other not. Nevertheless, he is willing to risk rejection from a stranger, but not from his wife (Holmes & Holmes, 2002).
The following are Holmes benefits to swinging: swinging could enhance your marriage by opening up a new line of communication, couples learn new sexual techniques that they can use in their personal sex life, couples feel as if they could talk about anything because their sexual relationships with others are not concealed , and this form of sexual activity helps lower sexual inhibitions. The more someone participates in the swinger lifestyle the more they are willing to open up sexually and try new things with their spouse and swinging partner. Many marriages deteriorate due to the lack of an undesirable sex life. Therefore, swinging can help couples stay together and satisfy their sexual needs in an open marriage.
On the other hand, many believe that swinging has its liabilities. One of the biggest concerns about swinging is discretion. If other people find out about your lifestyle it could be detrimental to how society views you. One couple stated that they were ridiculed by their community and that they had to leave the state. Contracting unwanted diseases is another major fear related to swinging. Children’s discovery is the most important concern of all. Children can be cruel and have the ability to cause emotional devastation if they find out that someone’s parents swing and decide to tease. Forced membership is a big issue in swinging as the husband is typically the one who forces the wife into swing while it is often the wife who wants to continue the lifestyle. The husband is usually the first to become jealous, which can cause a strain on the relationship and potentially lead to divorce.
A problem being married for a lengthy time is boredom with sex. When a couple’s sex life becomes predictable or non-existent they often become uninterested in sex with their spouse. Married couples want to relive the days when they were young and sex was spontaneous and passionate not dull and predictable. “As several said, they could not only reliably predict when the partner would be sexually approachable, but also would be the next move in their sexual script with one another” (Holmes & Holmes, 2002). This kind of predictability leads couples to search for different avenues for sexual satisfaction, which could be found in the swinging.
Many couples express that swinging is an outlet for what they consider to be abnormal sexual desires. Sometimes people feel awkward talking to their spouse about sexual fantasies. Individuals fear rejection and being considered anomalous. However, couples would rather be rejected from someone they don’t know rather than their spouse. One swinger said his fantasies were to pretend to have sex with a corpse and to engage in anal sex . . . he would never ask his wife to do that because he believed she would think him to be weird or perverted. His wife totally opposed anal sex, whereas he found some of his partners to be very willing and other not. Nevertheless, he is willing to risk rejection from a stranger, but not from his wife (Holmes & Holmes, 2002).
The following are Holmes benefits to swinging: swinging could enhance your marriage by opening up a new line of communication, couples learn new sexual techniques that they can use in their personal sex life, couples feel as if they could talk about anything because their sexual relationships with others are not concealed , and this form of sexual activity helps lower sexual inhibitions. The more someone participates in the swinger lifestyle the more they are willing to open up sexually and try new things with their spouse and swinging partner. Many marriages deteriorate due to the lack of an undesirable sex life. Therefore, swinging can help couples stay together and satisfy their sexual needs in an open marriage.
On the other hand, many believe that swinging has its liabilities. One of the biggest concerns about swinging is discretion. If other people find out about your lifestyle it could be detrimental to how society views you. One couple stated that they were ridiculed by their community and that they had to leave the state. Contracting unwanted diseases is another major fear related to swinging. Children’s discovery is the most important concern of all. Children can be cruel and have the ability to cause emotional devastation if they find out that someone’s parents swing and decide to tease. Forced membership is a big issue in swinging as the husband is typically the one who forces the wife into swing while it is often the wife who wants to continue the lifestyle. The husband is usually the first to become jealous, which can cause a strain on the relationship and potentially lead to divorce.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Marriage was once viewed as a permanent bond between two people before God. Traditional marriage vows say, “Through sickness and health, till death do us part”; yet nearly half of all marriages today will end in divorce. So why do so many marriages end in divorce? Traditional reasons for divorce would include money, infidelity, and lack of intimacy. The lack of money in a relationship tends to add pressure on a marriage. “If this couple will earn a modest $50,000 as a family, their odds of seeing their 15th anniversary jump to 68%” (Bronson & Ashely, 2006). In marriage, money goes a long way. Money doesn’t mean that people will be happy in marriage, but it does relieve some of the pressure and stress in a marriage.
Infidelity is another major reason why many marriages fail. According to Infidelity Facts, infidelity is likely to occur within the first two years of marriage. “This is the time when the whirlwind ends, and routine begins to set in. The emotional high that both partners experienced is gone. This leaves a void. It is similar to the effects of drugs. Once you are high and come back down, you want to get high again. The new husband or wife may no longer consistently supply what is needed to find that high” (Infidelity Facts, 2006).
Lack of intimacy also is a major factor that leads to infidelity and ultimately divorce. “If a chart is drawn with years of marriage and the frequency of intimacy, the line drops off pretty rapidly after three years and the drop is even sharper for couples with kids” (Coda, 2005). When lack of intimacy becomes a factor in a marriage often spouses go looking for that intimacy in other places, whether it is emotional or physical. Spouses who seek emotional intimacy often end up engaging in physical intimacy as well.
I don’t know if earning fifty thousand dollars as a family increases couple’s chance of seeing their fifteenth anniversary by sixty-eight percent. Today, it is hard for couples to even make their fifth year anniversary let alone the fifteenth whether or not you are financially stable. Infidelity s seems to be a major issue when talking about marriages and divorce. “Infidelity is always destructive, and often fatal, to a marriage” (Swenson, 2009). It does make sense that spouses would cheat after the first couple of years in a marriage, because that is when it is less likely to be suspected. People are always searching for that same high that they just came down from in the beginning of the marriage. Lack of intimacy is relevant to the question of why people are getting divorced. Whether people want to admit it or not sex is an instrumental part of a marriage. When the intimacy is lacking or is gone, people begin to have wandering eyes. The article does reflect a weakness. According to the article Infidelity facts, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, but what the article doesn’t include is how many couples married in a single year and how many of those same couples divorced in that year. That would give us a better understanding of what the divorce rate.
According to Pierre Coda money is not a major issue in marriage. There are many people that live in poverty that love each other and are happily married. Money, infidelity, and lack of intimacy are all major factors on why people get divorced. The saying goes, “Love will conquer all,” but apparently this is not true. Considering the facts, would it be wise to say that you should avoid the alter and those two words, “I Do.”
Bibliography
Bronson, P., & Ashely, M. (2006, June 30). Time. Retrieved from http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1209784,00.html#ixzz0r5fHieac
Coda, P. (2005). Not Enough Intimacy in the Marriage? Retrieved from My Nippon: http://www.mynippon.com
Infidelity Facts. (2006). Infidelity Facts and Information. Retrieved from Infidelity Facts: http://www.infidelityfacts.com
Swenson, G. (2009, April 19). Coping With Infidelity In Marriage. Retrieved August 15, 2010, from Infidelity: http://www.gregswensonphd.com/infidelity.htm#5
Infidelity is another major reason why many marriages fail. According to Infidelity Facts, infidelity is likely to occur within the first two years of marriage. “This is the time when the whirlwind ends, and routine begins to set in. The emotional high that both partners experienced is gone. This leaves a void. It is similar to the effects of drugs. Once you are high and come back down, you want to get high again. The new husband or wife may no longer consistently supply what is needed to find that high” (Infidelity Facts, 2006).
Lack of intimacy also is a major factor that leads to infidelity and ultimately divorce. “If a chart is drawn with years of marriage and the frequency of intimacy, the line drops off pretty rapidly after three years and the drop is even sharper for couples with kids” (Coda, 2005). When lack of intimacy becomes a factor in a marriage often spouses go looking for that intimacy in other places, whether it is emotional or physical. Spouses who seek emotional intimacy often end up engaging in physical intimacy as well.
I don’t know if earning fifty thousand dollars as a family increases couple’s chance of seeing their fifteenth anniversary by sixty-eight percent. Today, it is hard for couples to even make their fifth year anniversary let alone the fifteenth whether or not you are financially stable. Infidelity s seems to be a major issue when talking about marriages and divorce. “Infidelity is always destructive, and often fatal, to a marriage” (Swenson, 2009). It does make sense that spouses would cheat after the first couple of years in a marriage, because that is when it is less likely to be suspected. People are always searching for that same high that they just came down from in the beginning of the marriage. Lack of intimacy is relevant to the question of why people are getting divorced. Whether people want to admit it or not sex is an instrumental part of a marriage. When the intimacy is lacking or is gone, people begin to have wandering eyes. The article does reflect a weakness. According to the article Infidelity facts, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, but what the article doesn’t include is how many couples married in a single year and how many of those same couples divorced in that year. That would give us a better understanding of what the divorce rate.
According to Pierre Coda money is not a major issue in marriage. There are many people that live in poverty that love each other and are happily married. Money, infidelity, and lack of intimacy are all major factors on why people get divorced. The saying goes, “Love will conquer all,” but apparently this is not true. Considering the facts, would it be wise to say that you should avoid the alter and those two words, “I Do.”
Bibliography
Bronson, P., & Ashely, M. (2006, June 30). Time. Retrieved from http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1209784,00.html#ixzz0r5fHieac
Coda, P. (2005). Not Enough Intimacy in the Marriage? Retrieved from My Nippon: http://www.mynippon.com
Infidelity Facts. (2006). Infidelity Facts and Information. Retrieved from Infidelity Facts: http://www.infidelityfacts.com
Swenson, G. (2009, April 19). Coping With Infidelity In Marriage. Retrieved August 15, 2010, from Infidelity: http://www.gregswensonphd.com/infidelity.htm#5
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